All Roads Lead to
by jule7434
Summary: Kind of AU. Alicia sees different moments of her life that if changed could lead to a different outcome. Spoilers only for what's been on the show so far - end season 3 . Please read and review.
1. Chapter 1: Georgetown

Alicia was in her bathroom getting ready for work, one eye in the mirror in front of her, but the other kept eyeing the divorce papers on the bed.

With the separation going public after Peter's testimony, they had come to a turning point. The press and political repercussions were no longer part of the equation. It was the right moment to decide whether they would give their marriage a final shot or end it formally. They agreed that it had already ended; the only thing left was to make it official. The divorce was very quick and smooth, since they handled it like adults. They had been getting along better lately. It was still weird, though, being no longer Mrs. Peter Florrick after 18 years. Taking her ring off and seeing the mark left on her finger, she started to cry. When she had put it on for the first time, she expected to be buried in it, the _'til death do us part'_ thing.

Suddenly her cell phone started to ring and she ran to get it, but slipped on the moist bathroom floor. She hit her head on the sink on the way down and everything went black.

….

Alicia felt herself waking up, but she wasn't home, she was… in Will's apartment at Georgetown. Will was there, of course. But strangely, she could see herself there as well. It was like she was out of her body watching it. Like watching a movie, only it was one she remembered living as well.

Oh, she remembered that day. It was when they had first kissed. The day she decided she had to avoid Will Gardner, because she was already dating Peter and being so close to him was dangerous territory. She saw them locking eyes and then Will leaning towards her younger self to kiss her. After a few seconds, college Alicia would pull away and flee. _At any moment now_. That's when something strange happened. At the moment when she should be getting up to leave, young Alicia deepened the kiss.

….

The movie of her life was put on fast forward. She saw herself getting married, only this time it was her dream wedding on the beach, not the big church wedding Jackie had forced on her – _'Peter's father is an important figure in Chicago and Peter will be one day, too, so we have to have a big, traditional church wedding for everyone to attend'_, she had said. The one in the "movie" had only a few guests – Owen, her mother and Mary on her side and _Oh my God_, Sara and Aubrey on the other one. As she reached the "altar", present Alicia could finally see the groom. It was Will.

It kept going fast, as she saw herself at her approximate age in the present, working in an office bigger than her current one. Her computer's wallpaper was the logo of the firm she worked for: Lockhart, Cavanaugh & Gardner. On the desk were a few pictures – herself and Owen, herself and Will, herself and three kids. Probably her kids. Hers and Will's.

….

In the next scene, Alicia could see herself in a bar; clearly waiting for someone by the way she kept checking her watch and her cell.

Kalinda then entered and sat next to her. They apparently still knew each other.

"Leila, what happened? I was starting to worry."

_Wow, she had never become Kalinda_. It was really weird seeing that now her best friend, Leila, was the woman that in her present had caused her the most pain. All of this had never happened there. Her marriage to Peter, the scandal, Kalinda's betrayal…

"It was just traffic. Two tequilas please."

Apparently some things didn't change.

"I have already ordered."

"I know, after the day I've had, I need two for myself. And you can keep them coming!"

"What happened?"

She took a minute to drink her shots.

"Lisa told us she is pregnant. She's 17, only a child, Alicia, how can she take care of a baby? I am too young to be a grandmother!"

_What? Kalinda had children_? Apparently a husband too, as she had mentioned '**us'**. Well, a husband that she was still living under the same roof with, because an estranged one she had in real life as well.

She drank another shot that had just been put in front of her by the bartender.

"You know what my problem is? I didn't get my tubes tied."

Present Alicia remembered Kalinda telling her the same thing once.

It was strange seeing this whole other Kalinda, well Leila, really. And despite the circumstances of their meeting; she seemed better than the real Kalinda. Not so secretive, closed and professionally paranoid, like she was always running from something.

….

Even further she saw herself, now older than the present one, sitting at a big Christmas table beside Will – who looked older, too. There were a lot of people she didn't know, but she recognized the kids from the photograph at the office – now all grown up – and, of course, Owen. There were small children, too. She could see Will caressing her older self's hand with that sweet look in his eyes. Old Alicia looked lovingly back at him.

….

The next scene was a casket being opened – probably for the last time since it was beside a grave – and present Alicia could see old Alicia lying there. Flowers were being tossed quickly before the casket was closed, but before it happened, she could notice a wedding ring on her old hand. A different one to the ring she was wear… – wait, she looked down at her present hand and it was no longer there. She had forgotten she had taken it off after the divorce.

Among the people crying in the funeral she could recognize everyone from Christmas, sans Will. That's when living Alicia looked at the headstone besides her own. It read: 'William Paul Gardner – beloved husband, father and friend'. A little too cliché for her own taste, but, for her to use it, it must have been the perfect fit for him. Present Alicia felt something warm on her cheeks and realized she was crying for Will's death. The thought of him gone, even if she was seeing it in a movie, hurt.

After that, everything went dark again.

* * *

_I have written some other chapters as not to take too long between updates, but ideas are very welcome; I could change them. Please review and leave suggestions of other "future" scenes that Alicia could see or the moments on the show which changed could have altered their relationship towards good timing. _


	2. Chapter 2: Georgetown

_I want to thank believer123 for being my beta. I also want to thank the reviews. I will get to the point where Alicia wakes up in the present. A new chapter, please R&R._

* * *

This time, Alicia woke up in one of the libraries at Georgetown. Again she saw her college self and Will studying late at night. She also remembered that day. They had been preparing for the mock trial and because of it, had been on speaking terms again. Nothing had happened since the kiss and they both believed they were only friends. Alicia watched what passed between them and she saw otherwise. Originally, the moment had come and gone without anything happening, only the warning that they still had to be careful around each other. Present Alicia was watching and expecting young Alicia to say, as she remembered herself once saying: "It's getting late, we should go home. I'll meet you tomorrow after classes." and part. Instead, the younger version of herself closed the space between her and Will and kissed him.

Again the image in front of her began to fast forward and she saw herself stopping them of getting any further. Not with the sad, apologetic eyes she had all the other times, but with a smile and a hopeful look. A look that told Will they had a chance. Then she saw her decision to tell Peter about it and end things and it obviously didn't end well.

….

She saw college Alicia on their graduation with Will. She had been wrong in the present. Unlike she had told Will on the phone once, it had been him and they had lasted more than a week.

As she watched her younger self progress, like a movie that was playing, she saw more or less the same things as in the previous one, with a few changes.

….

The first scene was her – a little bit younger than she was now – and Will watching the news as she saw something that made present Alicia sick. It was all too familiar for her own taste: the press, the speech, Peter on the stand. Only this time, there was another woman by his side instead of her. The news line read 'Sexual scandal with the State's Attorney Peter Florrick'. Then she observed the dialog between her and Will, again feeling like she was watching them in a movie.

"I always knew he was scum. I never liked him." Will said

"That's because you were jealous." Alicia replied.

"Well, that, too."

They both laughed. How easy it was to be on the outside, not to have the scandal happen to her – it didn't hurt.

….

The picture in her office with herself and the kids also included a dog with the name tag that read 'Mr. Georgetown'.

Next, she saw herself reading on a bed that looked like it was in a hotel room. The book she saw 'movie' Alicia reading was titled 'Visiting Germany'. _Wow, she had always wanted to travel to Germany_. On the night stand were some cards. One read 'Have a safe trip, Mom and Dad. Enjoy! Love, Mark, Jenny and Adam.' They must be her kids with Will, well the 'movie' her and Will.

The one standing next to it read, in Will's handwriting, 'Hope you like the surprise trip. I couldn't think of a better way to celebrate our anniversary. Ich liebe dich.'

….

Present Alicia saw her with Will and the kids at a baseball game rooting for someone she guessed was her and Will's son. Apparently Will had passed his passion for the sport to their children. The young man was pitching for a team in some kind of professional league. She just hoped it wasn't one of those cases where the father forced his son to achieve what he couldn't. On the other hand, she would never allow for something like that to happen to her son and the young man seemed to be enjoying himself.

….

There she saw a beautiful garden, which was all decorated with flowers. It was obviously a wedding. Present Alicia could see herself sitting in the front row, but there was no sign of Will. _Did they get a divorce this time? Were none of her marriages meant to work? Or were just her and Will together not the right fit? _Then, the music started and she could see the bride: the girl from the picture in her office, her daughter Jenny, all grown up now. At her side, was Will; holding her arm and walking her down the aisle. Giving her away with a kiss, Will sat next to Alicia in the front row. Now that movie Alicia held Will's hand, she could see that she was still wearing a ring. The same one she had seen in the last vision. They hadn't gotten a divorce. _Maybe_ _it could work._

….

There it was the Christmas scene again, only this time, a different man was sitting beside Owen. On the other hand, the loving display between her and Will as well as the happy atmosphere were still there.

….

The last scene, the funeral, was there again. Only this time, Will's head stone wasn't on the grave next to old Alicia's. But the spot for it was already reserved. Will was there, standing next to the casket looking devastated. He was crying and his red and swollen face told her he had cried a lot already. It occurred to present Alicia that she had never seen Will cry before.

Owen was standing next to him and looked terrible too. They were supporting each other in a way that Peter and Owen never would. She had been right in thinking they would get along. In law school she wanted to introduce them, but unfortunately it had never happened. With that thought in mind, Alicia felt everything go dark once again.


	3. Chapter 3: 1x17

_I want to thank my beta Believer123 for improving this story._

_Thank you for the reviews! Please keep writing them =)_

_There was a review adressing me as AD29. I'm not and this is my only account. I don't want to take credit for his/her work. _

_'Ich liebe dich' is German for 'I love you'_

* * *

The blackness cleared and Alicia found herself up seeing Will's present office at Lockhart & Gardner. She and Will were there and apparently the last ones at the firm once again, since she couldn't hear anyone else. Alicia in the vision had her purse on, ready to leave, but then put the purse down and tried to comfort Will. Oh, now present Alicia remembered that day. It was her first year at the firm after they had lost that case where the baby needed in uterus surgery. Will had been devastated and then… they had kissed as she saw now in front of her.

After all the other visions, where she saw young Alicia change something that led to her and Will being happily married in the future, present Alicia was expecting junior associate Alicia to deepen the kiss when in reality present Alicia had broken it off.

Present Alicia was then a little disappointed when her movie self didn't do it. She still stopped them and ran away, because of her responsibilities and all the complications. Alicia remembered doing that even though what she really wanted was to go further. That's why she had gone to Peter's room that night.

In the scene playing in front of her, her other self had still gone away, nothing had changed. Maybe it meant it was too late for them now.

But then, she saw something that shouldn't be happening. When she had come back that night, Will had no longer been in his office. This time he was. While riding down the elevator after missing Will, present Alicia never knew what she would've done if he had been there when she came back. Now, watching everything from above, she could see what it would have been like. Junior associate Alicia ran into the room, quickly closing the space between her and Will and kissed him.

Once again the fast forward began, but she could catch a glimpse at how the years of longing and wondering 'what if' showed between them, while they were on Will's couch.

….

Next, she saw herself and Kalinda in a bar. Nothing new there, except, Owen was joining them. As her brother sat down, Kalinda raised her tequila glass and said, already a little tipsy:

"To the future Mrs. Gardner!"

"And future Mrs. Georgetown!" Owen added. His comment earned Alicia a confused look from Kalinda, but she didn't ask.

….

There was still the beach wedding, but this time Zach, Grace, Kalinda and Diane were there, too and Mary, her former best friend from college was not. She and Will were both older than on the other visions, approximately the age they were now.

The Germany trip scene popped up again. But the bed was empty. On the night stand were the book 'Visiting Germany' and two cards:

_'Enjoy your honeymoon! Love, Zach and Grace.'_

_'Paris is overrated and I knew you always wanted to come here. Ich liebe dich.'_

Present Alicia could hear voices coming from the bathroom. They were hers and Will's.

"Is the temperature of the water good?"

"The hot tub is perfect. Now come here."

….

She saw them again at a baseball game, but instead of Mark, Jenny and Adam, she saw her and Will with Zach and Grace. Zach seemed to be really enjoying himself, asking Will questions about the game and sharing commentaries. Grace looked a little bored, but overall happy. Maybe it wouldn't have been such a terrible idea to have introduced Will to her kids, they would've gotten along. Now it was too late anyway. She saw her vision self, like her present self, watching her family enjoy the game. But, oh, she could see a bump on movie-Alicia's belly, showing through her shirt. _Wow, could she really do the motherhood thing from the start again? _

….

The movie kept going and she saw Will open the door of a big house while she held a baby boy.

"Welcome home, Adam." She heard her other self say. They got up the stairs and entered a nursery with baseball theme wallpaper.

"Go take a bath and relax. Take a nap afterwards, I'll be here with him." Will said.

Vision Alicia was leaving and expectant Alicia watched Will and the baby. He seemed really good at it, especially for a first time father. Maybe because of his niece he had learned how to handle babies. She remembered Peter with Zach and it was nothing like that. He held the little boy like it was a bomb about to explode. It had been adorable at the time, but not very helpful. It looked like Will would be a great father, well he had been, for what she had seen on her other visions.

….

In this scene she could see Will and herself again in the same big house as the previous scene. They were watching TV. Peter's acceptance speech for governor was playing. Wow, he had made it. It was weird seeing his side empty, the side she had always been. Weird, but good, because instead of standing in the middle of the press – something she hated – she was sitting at home with Will. **Home** – she really used that word. Even though she had never been in this house before, she felt like it was her home at the time in the vision.

….

Once again they were at the same Christmas table, but now Alicia could place it. It was at hers and Will's house. Its occupants were all different, except for her, Will and Owen, who was with the guy from the first vision. Zach was there with Nisa and some kids. Oh, he looked so handsome all grown up. Grace and her husband were there with two kids of their own as well. There was a teenage boy that looked too old to be either Zach's or Grace's, so he must be her and Will's son. The baby she was carrying in the baseball game scene. Diane was there as well, with Kurt McVeigh. Wow, he and Diane had made it work.

….

Strangely enough, she saw herself again at Georgetown. Now with Will and their son, who was a little bit older than in the previous scene.

"It's a great university. It's where your mother and I went to law school. And also where we met." Will shot Alicia a look. "Where do you want to start?"

"I don't know. You guys know your way around here, so, you decide." Now that he was grown, present Alicia noticed that he looked a lot like Will. He did have her eyes, though.

"OK, let's start this way. I'll show you the places and tell all the stories about it." Present Alicia admired Will having learnt the stories about Georgetown to tell their son, because she knew that he hadn't known any of them back in the day. When she listened closely, she noticed he was only telling **his** stories. Showing the places he had been drunk, taken girls or made crazy things. Some of them included her too! Present Alicia noticed her vision self started paying attention as well and took over as guide of the tour. She told stories about the university itself. Although the boy seemed to be having more fun with Will's stories, he looked like he was liking the history, as well. Alicia felt the darkness creeping back into her mind, and her world turned black and soundless again. Where would her mind take her next?


	4. Chapter 4: 2x14

_I want to thank my beta Believer123 for all the help. I also want to thank for the reviews, keep them coming!_

* * *

She was in Will's office again. _Oh-oh_, present Alicia knew that dress; she had spent a lot of time carefully choosing it to wear that day. The day after her road trip with Owen, when she had decided to ask Will about the second voicemail. She had found about it, but not its content, a few weeks before. She had then, tried to ask him about it, but his girlfriend Tammy had been there. Some opportunities had presented themselves in between, but she had chickened out in everyone of them under the excuse of bad timing_. How ironic, bad timing had always been their problem._ Talking to Owen during the trip, though, had made her go ahead with asking.

"Will, I need a moment of your time."

"Okay."

Oh, no. Movie Alicia would follow Owen's advice completely; do what he wanted her to do. That's what would change in this vision. She would talk about how she had been watching him for 15 years and was tired of shoving love to the side and serving other people. How she couldn't think of anything more important in her life than his breath on her neck and so on. Even if it were true, Alicia could've never been so bold and have told him that. On the other hand, visions Alicia had been nothing but bold. And then she heard her other self saying:

"I never got the second message to my cell phone. I don't know why."

_Thank God, movie Alicia had stuck to the real script. But what would be changed if not this?_

"Second? No, you got everything."

"When you phoned Peter's press conference you left two messages, but I didn't get the second message, I only got the first. I hate missed connections and that stuff, so can I ask? What did you say?"

"In my second message?"

"Yes. (pause) You don't have to say."

"No, I will. I said, I think you made the right decision, with Peter and I didn't want us to be uncomfortable at work."

"Okay. Good. And we're not."

"No, we're not. "

"Okay. I should get back to work." And she turned around to leave. Present Alicia remembered how disappointed she had been that day, knowing that Will had lied. Probably because he was in love with Tammy. Then, when he held her arm to stop her from leaving, she thought he might confess the truth, but he didn't.

In this vision, before Will could grab Alicia's forearm, she turned around.

"You know what? It's not okay. I know that's not what you said on the second message. I don't know what it is, but I know that's not it."

"If you never got the second message, how do you know about it?" Will looked a little shocked.

"I can't say. It's confidential." Now he looked confused even.

"What? Oh, you heard Wade's taps. My talk to him and the thirty second minimization."

She did not confirm nor deny it, but her look gave it all away. Even present Alicia could see it. Alicia knew that with Will her famous poker face always left the building.

"Well, I said that I didn't want to drop this. That you should phone me and I would meet you anywhere and we would make a plan. But if none of this made sense to you, you should just ignore it and we would go back to normal. I said that I love you, probably have ever since Georgetown." That last sentence he said only above a whisper and then continued in an audible tone. "When you didn't say anything afterwards, I just assumed you wanted to drop it. That this didn't make sense to you."

"It does." Alicia paused. "Meet me at my place tonight so we can make a plan." At Will's unsure look, she added, "Everybody will be out."

….

The next scene seemed like a normal day in Alicia´s apartment, only she could sense it was not. Alicia and Grace, who was in a beautiful dress, were rushing doing all sorts of things. Will was sitting on the couch watching TV; he probably knew best staying out of the way. A few minutes later the doorbell rang and everything stopped. Grace went for the door and opened it to a dressed up boy with a corsage for her. _It was Grace´s prom._ The boy greeted them all receiving receptive smiles from Alicia and a serious stare from Will. When Alicia and Grace went to the bedroom to get something, Will pulled the boy aside and said:

"So, Bryan."

"It's Ryan, sir."

"Oh, ok, Ryan. Sorry. You're in Grace's class?"

"Yeah, we have English and Biology together."

"And what are you planning in terms of college?"

"I plan to go to med school."

"Hmm, good. Grace's curfew is at midnight, just like Cinderella, so I hope you don't forget and bring her later. If anything happens to her…"

"Oh, we're back! Finally found what we were looking for." Alicia intervened saving the poor boy when she came back to the living room with Grace. When Will took a step to the side, she whispered in Ryan's ear:

"Sorry about that, Ryan."

"Thanks, Ms. Cavanaugh."

"Bye, mom. Bye, Will."

"Have fun you two!"

Present Alicia thought it was adorable the way Will was trying to protect Grace, how much he cared about her daughter. Like she was his own.

After they left, Alicia gave Will a kiss and said:

"It´s so sweet that you want to protect her, but Ryan is a good kid, you don't have to scare the hell out of him."

"I did not!" Will said with a laugh.

"Yes, you did! I came in here and that boy had panic in his eyes."

"Well, I was his age once and scary parents were what kept me in line."

"Ah, so you were scared of my dad that time he came to visit at Georgetown? That first time he thought we were dating?"

"Oh yeah."

"It was so funny him being so serious and the scared look on your face! Then when I told him we weren't dating, we were just friends, his attitude changed completely."

"Yes, very funny. So funny you waited until after lunch to tell him that."

"Of course, I was having too much fun." She said laughing.

"Oh, so you didn't feel sorry for me? You let me have it, but you don't let me do it to poor Ryan."

"I've gone soft. And you were talking to him while I was gone, so no fun for me."

"Ah, so that's it. You weren't here. Well, then Ryan was lucky I waited until you guys left the room to talk to him. Otherwise he would have suffered much longer." They were both laughing now. "And I think you owe me."

"For what?"

"For letting your father torture me for so long without reason. I deserve some kind of compensation."

"Hmmm…ok, I can think of something." She said pulling him towards the bedroom.

….

One more time she saw herself and Will at Georgetown, for another graduation. This time, it was Grace who had gone to law school. Present Alicia mirrored movie Alicia's and Will's looks of pride towards her little girl.

….

After a long fast forward, watching barbecues, birthdays and parties, her funeral was to be seen again. This time around, Will didn't put flowers inside her casket, he put his baseball. The one he was always tossing around, the one he had caught in his first baseball game at the age of three. The same one he had carried his entire life. Present Alicia was really touched by the gesture and felt a single tear falling before everything went dark one more time.


	5. Chapter 5: 3x10

_Believer123, thank you for beta reading this story! _

_Thank you for the reviews, I hope you continue writing them, I look forward to it._

* * *

The day Alicia was dreading getting up to finally came. The day she broke up with Will. Also the day Grace went missing, even if she wasn't really missing and it had been only for a couple of hours. It had been the worst hours of her life. All she could think about was how irresponsible and distracted she had been the last couple of months. She was a married woman. With kids to care about. The last thing she could handle was a boyfriend, actually, an affair. A boyfriend, that she could be honest with her children and the world about, she could've handled, but not all the secrets. It was too damn complicated. It was too much.

It had been hard for Alicia to live that moment; let alone see it again. On the other hand, with everything she had seen so far, maybe this time things could turn out differently. She saw herself, nervous as hell, going inside Will's office. She had received a text from him saying he wanted to talk to her.

"Hi Will."

"Hey. Feels like I haven't seen you in a while."

"I know."

"I heard everything's good with your daughter."

"Yes, thank you."

It would be now. _Don't say it. Don't say it_. Alicia was pleading to her other self.

"Will…" - Don't say it, don't say it. Was all she could think – "What did you want to talk about?"

_Yes!_ Alicia still didn't know what he was going to say. Probably end things anyway because of the investigation of the State's Attorney's office on him, but it was still a different outcome.

"How do you feel about commitment?" He asked, but continued even before she could answer. "I went by your place today and saw you with your daughter as she had just been found. I need to know how you feel about it. I also wanted to let you know how I feel about it. I want that. I wanted to be there today to give you support. To hold you if you need to break down or fall apart. I want the parent-teacher conferences, not just the poetry."

Both present and vision Alicia were speechless. Present one couldn't believe that's what he was going to say. She didn't even let him say it; she just broke it off and never looked back. She felt guilty and selfish. Especially now knowing that he was already being threatened with indictment; because of her. Even then, he didn't break it off, he talked about commitment.

Before Alicia could see her other self's answer, the vision started fast forwarding. She saw herself talking to Will in the car.

"I've seen a great place for you to move in when your lease is over. Do you have the time to see it now? It's not far from here."

"Sure, let's go."

Driving a few blocks, they parked in front of the building present as well as vision Alicia knew to be Will's.

"Will, that's your building. Do they have a place?"

"Move in with me."

"Will, don't do this just because my landlord is throwing me out. I will find something."

"I know. That's not why I'm asking. Think about it and talk to the kids."

"I'll ask them, but know that my answer is yes." She said smiling.

Apparently they had said yes too, because she was able to see the blur of a moving truck pulling up at Will's building while the movie kept fast forwarding.

….

Alicia could see herself, Zach, Grace and Will in a building she didn't recognize immediately, but it did seem familiar. After a minute, present Alicia could place them: the kids' school.

"Will, can you talk to Mrs. Hollander while I'll talk to Mr. Bakes?"

"Sure. Grace, can you show me where her classroom is?"

"I can show you my English classroom." Grace said trying to convince him not to speak to Mrs. Hollander.

"C'mon, I bet your Biology teacher will only say good things about you." He said, trying to cheer her up, but not being very successful.

"It's good that you have someone to help you with these things, since Dad is living in Springfield." Zach said and movie Alicia answered with a smile. _So that's why Peter wasn't there, because even after the separation he always attended school functions._

….

The next distinguishable scene was Alicia waking up in Will's bed, or **their** bed now, with a tray full of pancakes and two laptops on top of it with Zach and Grace on the screen.

"Happy Mother's Day, mom!" They both said in unison.

"We couldn't be there, so Will had to make the pancakes for us." Zach explained. They were probably in college, present Alicia thought. She then wondered to which one they went to.

"They also sent those to you." Will said picking up two present boxes and handing them to vision Alicia.

"Thanks, Will, for helping us out." Grace said.

"No problem at all."

Present Alicia observed her vision self and she looked truly happy. It remembered her of her life in the old days, before the scandal.

….

The Christmas scene played out in Will's apartment as well. Everybody seemed really happy and in this version, even Peter was there. He and a blonde that was probably his girlfriend or something. This made present Alicia glad; to see they were still friends. Even if their marriage hadn't worked out, she still respected and cared about him. The vision of Peter and Owen arguing made present Alicia laugh as well, it was good to know some things didn't change.

….

The next scene was also in Will's apartment, but everybody was gone. The only person she could see was Will setting a table for two. _Ok, movie Alicia must be somewhere else in the apartment, maybe in the shower_. She saw him lighting up candles and putting flowers on the table. He had done this during their affair and she had loved it. She had been a little freaked out, too, because this was way more than _just fun_. But this time, as vision Alicia came into the dining room, she was thrilled, but not that surprised by it like present Alicia had been when Will had done it in real life, indicating this wasn't something unusual for him to do.

"Hmm, my favorite chef is cooking for me again tonight!"

"Yes, thank Luigi next time we go there." They both laughed.

"Will, don't get me wrong, I love this, you know that, but shouldn't we be attending the Lockhart & Gardner New Year's party? You are a name partner!" _Ah, so that's what it was. New Year's Eve._

"I think Lockhart will do just fine without Gardner. I'm tired of attending those parties. They're just for lonely lawyers to have something to do on New Year. The only party I want is this, right here."

"I'm glad and I will make sure it is your time's worth." Vision Alicia said with a wink.

"I have no doubt." He winked back.

Another vision ended as everything went dark.


	6. Chapter 6: 3x22 part 1

_The second gala she mentioned attending, during the affair, is another story of mine named 'VIP Treatment'. This chapter is based on what happened in that. You don't have to read it to understand anything, but if you like to, it is here in._

_Thank you, Believer123 for betareading and improving this story!_

_Thanks for the reviews and keep them comming, I love them. _

* * *

The scene brightening in front of her was her vision self in the firm's elevator and Will rushing to get in. _Oh, the day Peter had gone in for deposition_, Alicia remembered it now.

Will and Alicia stood in an uncomfortable silence for a while, both not knowing quite what to say. Will started with a casual question.

"How are you doing?" He said.

"Me? I'm…okay. You?" Alicia sighed in her reply.

"The same. That was weird."

"With Peter today?" She asked, and at his head nod in acknowledgement, she continued. "Yes it was."

As present Alicia remembered, there had been a quiet moment as if Will was creating the courage to ask his next question: whether she thought it, meaning their relationship, had been a mistake. She was glad that she had answered honestly: No. It hadn't been a mistake. It had been too much at the time, but never a mistake. His question made her glad to be able to clear that up, but also sad that he had to ask.

In the vision, though, Alicia didn't give Will the chance to ask his question. While he was still thinking if he wanted to bring that up, if he wanted to hear her honest answer, she took a step towards him, pressing him against the elevator wall like he had done with her the year before in the hotel elevator and kissed him. _Oh my God_, present Alicia didn't even know if she had the right to do that, after all, she had broken up with him and she had heard rumors about him seeing Callie Simko. Or maybe those weren't exactly issues to him since he was kissing her back, sweetly and passionately. _What was with them and elevators?_ Maybe it was the closed space, no excuses and definitely no running away from each other.

In the 'real' moment, Alicia knew Will had gotten out one floor above hers, but in this version, as the elevator stopped on the floor Will was supposed to get out, he didn't move a muscle. He continued with what he doing to her neck. Not that she was complaining.

Getting to the bottom floor, they had to make a decision, though. Had that meant anything or was just nostalgia?

Vision Alicia stepped out looking apologetic to Will as if saying she was truly sorry, but she had to go. They looked each at other torn, vision Alicia could easily leave but she stayed staring at Will, stuck. The elevator doors started to close and Will stepped forward and stuck out his arm, keeping them open.

"Alicia!" He said. "Wait. Don't go. Please."

"I'm sorry. I have to go meet Peter at.." Her movie self hesitated, present Alicia guessed it was about whether or not to tell Will about her and Peter and the new house. "Well, I'm meeting with Peter and the kids, soon."

Will nodded in understanding but he still had a torn look on his face. "Alicia?

"Yes?" Alicia replied.

"Do you think it was a mistake?" Will asked, somewhat nervously.

He still asked his question after all.

"You mean now or everything before?"

"Both."

"No. The only mistake was the end of our relationship." She said.

"Come by later and we can…make a plan."

"Is 9 o'clock ok?"

"I'll be there." He answered with a smile she had missed seeing in the past few months.

Alicia saw her vision self walk out to her car with a nervous smile. Vision Alicia took a deep breath, once in the seat of her car and the scene faded to black as she drove to the old house, still with that small smile on her face.

….

Alicia saw her vision self in the next scene opening the front door of her apartment for Will to come in. She saw that Zach and Grace were standing in the living room of the apartment as her vision self took Will inside.

"Zach, Grace, this is Will. Will, this are Zach and Grace."

"Yeah, we've met once, that day in your office." Zach said. Will shook hands with Zach

"Yes, I'm sorry about last time, I was babbling. I promise I'll do better this time. It's nice to meet you, Grace." Will shook Grace's hand too, who gave him a shy smile.

"It wasn't that bad." Zach said kindly. Will gave Zach a 'c'mon, are you kidding?' look and Zach smiled. "Ok, it was bad, but I'm sure you're not always like that."

"I hope not." They all chuckled. They were all a little nervous, but the ice was being broken and that was a great start.

The rest of the evening, as Alicia could observe, went pleasantly. Will and the kids were getting along very well and he left promising to take them to a baseball game the next weekend. If it was going to be that easy, maybe present Alicia should have done it when Will offered to meet her kids. Not that it mattered now.

….

In the next scene, Will's apartment was to be seen again. _Ding Dong_ and Will went to get the door. Present Alicia couldn't see her movie self anywhere.

"Willie!" said Aubrey and Sara in unison.

"Oh, God." Will groaned. Nevertheless he opened the door and they walked through to the kitchen, firing questions at him with a rapid pace.

"We came to check up on you. See how you are doing 5 months into your suspension." Sarah said.

"Last time you were a wreck." Aubrey added, much to Will's embarrassment.

"And it had only been one week."

"Now I feel guilty about not coming sooner, Sara."

"Aubrey, relax, he has Kalinda."

"That's right! So, how is she?" Aubrey and Sara had identical smirks on their faces.

_Wait, what were they talking about? Kalinda and Will? _PresentAliciathought_._

"There is no me and Kalinda."

_Phew,_ she was relieved to know that. Present Alicia didn't know if she could handle it twice. Well, technically, Will and Kalinda had every right to date in her present. It would also be a big shock to Alicia.

"Oh no, Willie, you screwed up again? What did you do?" Sara asked in despair.

"Maybe there is still a chance to fix it." Aubrey suggested.

"I didn't screw up and there's no chance to fix it, because there was nothing in the first place!" Will replied.

"But you were talking to her in your sweet voice during that suicide trial." Aubrey explained trying to remind her brother.

Oh, that had been Aubrey talking behind Will that she had heard. Present Alicia had freaked out about it, but she still didn't know if by the comment itself or by the fact that there was a woman with Will.

"I wasn't talking to Kalinda on the phone, ok?" Will finally snapped.

"You weren't? So who is this mysterious woman?"

As if on cue, the front door was opened and Alicia entered the apartment. When she looked up from putting away her keys, Alicia had 3 sets of eyes looking at her. Two very curious, interested ones and Will's screaming _'I'm sorry'_.

"Oh my God!" Sara exclaimed.

"What? What?" Aubrey asked "What is it, Sara?

"You're Alicia Cavanaugh, right? Will's friend from college?"

Present Alicia was surprised that Sara remembered her as Will's friend and not the ex-wife from the State's Attorney with the scandal.

"Yes, and you're Sara, right?" Sara nodded and she continued "And you must be Aubrey." Even though present Alicia had only met Sara once at Georgetown, Will had told her all about his sisters.

"Yes, nice to meet you. Ah, so** you're **the woman on the phone!" Sara and Aubrey looked at Will with even wider grins.

"What phone?" Movie Alicia looked truly confused.

"Well, let's get you checked in a hotel. You must be tired from the flight." Will put his hand on Aubrey's back and started to subtly push her towards the door.

"What do you mean, William?" Sara asked. "We're staying here."

"Sorry, can't do. I don't have the space."

"What do you mean you don't have the space?"

"I'm sorry. I'm afraid that's my fault." Vision Alicia said. "Buy we can work something out, can't we, Will? Zach and Grace can stay at Peter's for a couple of days."

"I'm not kicking them out."

"Don't be so dramatic, Will. It's just a couple of days." Vision Alicia said.

"Wait, wait, wait. Who are those?" Sara asked.

"Zach and Grace are Alicia's kids."

"Oh, you've moved in together! I knew you were dating someone that last time. Didn't he look smitten to you, Aubrey?"

"Definitely. I just thought he was pinning over Kalinda."

"Kalinda, what?" Alicia asked.

"Wait, you are already living together and you didn't even tell us you were dating in the first place! Especially that you were dating your college sweetheart." Sara interrupted.

"What? She was not my college sweet…"

"C'mon, Willie, who are you kidding? You broke up with Helena for her."

"And we weren't dating when you visited last time."

"And you are already living together? That was fast."

"Well, yes, but it's complicated." Alicia tried to explain herself, but was failing miserably.

"Don't be so old fashioned, Sara, they've known each other since college!" Aubrey came to the rescue.

"Ok, ok. So, we will get going then; don't take the poor kids away from home because of us. Alicia, why don't you join us for dinner later so you and William can tell us all about that long story of yours?" Sara said with a wink.

"Su-sure." Alicia said with some uncertainty.

When they closed the door behind themselves, Will and Alicia looked astonished; like a tornado had passed.

"I'm so sorry about them."

"They're fine. It's so sweet how they worry about you."

"Yeah, yeah."

"So, you and Kalinda, huh?"

"Oh, please, not you too." Will pleaded. Alicia couldn't suppress her laughter. "When I was suspended they came here and were fixated on the idea that I was dating someone from work, on the suicide case. All because of some phone call they overheard. Kalinda came by and they got that idea. You saw how it's impossible to argue with them."

"You were talking to me. That day on the phone."

"How did you know?"

"I know your sweet voice." Alicia stepped closer to him with a smile. "Plus, Aubrey said you had it on when you called me that time, and now they have connected it to you talking to me."

"So you heard that, Aubrey back then?"

"Yes, and don't worry, I love when you use it with me." She smiled and stepped forward just that little bit more and kissed him.

….

Alicia appeared at a gala, in the same room as the two previous years. The decorations looked the same, too. _Did they ever do something creative for these events?_ The first time, she attended it with Peter, while they were still married and trying to make it work. Before she discovered about him and Kalinda. The second time, she also attended with Peter, but during her private separation, they were still a couple, publicly. At this time, she was also into the affair with Will. Present Alicia recalled that he had brought a cover date and the guilt of making out with him in the coat room during appetizers made it a very uncomfortable evening. This time present Alicia couldn't see Peter at the partners table from Lockhart & Gardner and the way she and Will were behaving towards each other, in public, told her they were officially together. Their plan, made after the elevator kiss, had worked. Even Diane and Eli, who were also at the table seemed fine with it.

As appetizers were being served, Will leaned to Alicia and whispered in her ear:

"Even if we don't have to hide anymore, I think we should repeat last year's coat-room-make-out session."

"Last year I asked, now I'm telling you: you ARE 16. Or at least you act like one sometimes. Why? You are coming back to my place afterwards anyway."

"Yes, but, like I said, sneaking out of this boring party is half the fun!"

Movie Alicia got up, excused herself to use the ladies' room and left the table. When she turned around and winked at Will, he understood. Five minutes later he also excused himself and followed her to the coat room.

It had been fun one more time and the best part was that there were no embarrassments during dinner. Present Alicia was happy with the way the vision Alicia and vision Will's relationship had worked out. It made her even more determined to take a chance with Will once she woke up for her visions. She had seen with her own eyes that things between them could work out and she wanted to make sure that they did, in her present day.


	7. Chapter 7: 3x22 part 2

_I promise this is the last chapter before Alicia wakes up. If you are still with me, reading this, hold on a little longer. R&R!_

* * *

Alicia woke up to what she thought would be one of the last times. She was coming closer, in time, to the present day. She wondered _how many more missed opportunities could they have had? __How much 'bad timing' moments were left? _

This time Alicia saw her other self standing in front of her old house wondering if she should go back in or leave. At the time, the thought of going over to Will's had only briefly crossed her mind, it hadn't been a real option. Since the break up and his suspension, they had grown apart and hadn't been speaking much. That was one of the reasons why she missed him so much, but could not tell him that. She was still married, he was still her boss and it was still all too complicated. That was one thing that had never changed. In the vision, though, Alicia took a bold attitude and drove to Will's apartment. While riding up the elevator, present Alicia could see how nervous vision Alicia was. _What if he is there with Callie? What if he has moved on? What if he thinks it's too complicated?_ She heard vision Alicia thinking out loud. _No, our entire relationship is based on what ifs. I want to be certain. _The time and distance between the elevator and Will's door felt so long and present Alicia watched nervously as the other Alicia rang Will's doorbell.

He came to the door looking like he was alone and there was no female voice to be heard. He looked surprised to see Alicia there and she froze on the spot, and present Alicia guessed that vision Alicia hadn't thought about what to say to him, after spending so much time pondering what she was about to do.

"I miss you." The truth popped out after a moment of silence.

A few seconds that felt like an hour passed and that made Alicia go crazy with expectation. Will's mind (and maybe his heart) was obviously processing her words, looking into her soft eyes to make sure she was actually real, there and saying those words he had hoped he would hear.

Once he was sure he took a step forward, placing one hand on her waist and the other one on her cheek really gently.

"I miss you too." He answered honestly and sweetly before she kissed him. The scene faded softly to black before present Alicia's eyes, who was longing terribly for a moment like that.

….

Alicia saw her apartment and Will sitting on the couch reading the paper. No sign of herself or the kids. Then, present Alicia could hear the front door open, but instead of vision Alicia, who she'd been expecting to see, she saw Jackie.

"Who are you?" The old woman said with disgust in her voice.

"I'm Will Gardner, ma'am. I believe you're Mrs. Florrick, am I right?"

Not bothering to answer, Jackie continued playing 20 questions:

"What are **you** doing here?" Apparently the name Will Gardner had ringed a bell.

On cue once again, like with Will's sisters, the front door opened and vision Alicia came in.

"Will, I'm back." She froze at the sight of Jackie in her living room with Will. "Jackie, what are you doing here?"

"I was asking **him** the same thing." She answered spitefully.

"He was waiting for me. You, on the other hand, I don't know why you're here." Vision Alicia said curtly, but with a hint of anger.

"I was bringing these gifts I bought for the kids." Jackie snapped back.

"You can give them when they visit you." Alicia said with her best controlled tone. "How do you even have a key?"

"But I already brought them."

"How do you have a key?" Alicia asked again struggling to maintain her calm.

"Peter gave me his."

"No he didn't. How do you have a key?" Present Alicia was amazed at how her vision self was able to keep her cool with her mother-in-law, well, ex-mother-in-law.

"I took it this morning. I wanted to bring the gifts." Jackie admitted, her strong face weakening under Alicia's challenging look.

"Again, Jackie you can give them when they visit you. And again, before you come here, you call, you don't steal Peter's key." Alicia replied frostily.

"I didn't steal it! And you don't want me coming here so you can bring men over? That's the example you want to give your children?"

"Goodbye, Jackie." Alicia said escorting Jackie to the door.

"You left my son for this?" Jackie shot an angry glare at Will. "Is this what you're replacing my son with?"

"**Goodbye**, Jackie." Alicia said closing the door on Jackie's face.

Vision Alicia looked tired out by the confrontation and relieved that her former mother-in-law left.

"Wow, she is really something, huh?" Will said.

"I'm so sorry, Will. You shouldn't have to put up with all this." She said placing both hands on his cheeks.

"It's ok; it was a real ego boost." He said laughing and then kissed her. "Hi, I didn't have a proper greeting. So, should I be jealous of all the other men?"

She shoved his arm a little, laughing too. "No, they're just for fun, nothing serious."

….

The fast forward slowed down to the sight of Will's apartment and movie Alicia in the kitchen. Will was - only to be heard coughing in the bedroom. It being a rather violent cough, vision Alicia rushed to check up on him. Present Alicia was shocked at how bad he looked. It worried her. Could it be more than a cold?

"Hey, Will, sit up. It's better for the cough." She advised and then helped him.

When he was finally able to stop coughing, he said in a faint voice, nothing like himself:

"Thank you. For taking care of me. I'm sorry for interfere with your visit to Grace in college." He answered only with a smile.

"Hey, it's ok. I can always go next weekend. She also said for you to get well soon."

_Ok, so this wasn't a long time illness. It must be just a hell of a cold. _

"Are you feeling any better?" Movie Alicia asked still worried.

Will shook his head and laid down again. Alicia, who was sitting on the chair beside the bed, started striking one hand through Will's hair, while the other one hold his hand. It was a weird vision for present Alicia, seeing Will so fragile. He was always strong, but she kind of liked seeing herself take care of him.

….

Life, her possible life continued passing before her as a movie. The usual scenes came up and she went without it ever slowing down until she was old again.

….

The scene that cleared before present Alicia was of her older self sitting next to an old Will on a bench in a park somewhere. They were holding hands like those sweet old couples present Alicia used to see when she took little Zach and Grace to the park. Conversation started to be clear to present Alicia's ears.

"I don't say this enough, but thank you for waiting for me; for not giving up." She heard vision Alicia say.

"Never. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't. I knew we would eventually have good timing."

That put a smile on present Alicia's face before everything blacked out. Hopefully for the last time.


	8. Chapter 8

Alicia's surroundings became clear again, but there was something different. She couldn't see anyone in the room and more important, wasn't seeing another Alicia anywhere. In this vision she wasn't just an observer, she was really living it. It wasn't a vision at all, this was real life. She felt her chest rise and fall. Well, that answered one of her questions: she wasn't dead. Those had been visions, about all the missed opportunities between her and Will and the life she would have had. Although she thought they mocked her a bit, it also gave her some hope. With the visions behind her, she knew that her relationship with Will could last. It was all up to her now, to make those visions come true. Alicia groaned, she had a crushing headache, and thoughts were crushing through her head. Again she felt a swooping, dizzy sensation in her head and she backed out again.

After a while, Alicia opened her eyes to see bright fluorescent lights ahead of her eyes. _Where was she?_ She turned her head and looked at her surroundings, it looked like a hospital. _How_ _had she gotten there?_ Oh, she fell and hit her head_. How_ _long ago was that?_

"She's awake! She's awake! Dad, Grace, she's awake!" She could hear Zach screaming into the hallway after walking into the room and seeing her with her eyes open. He walked over to her and held his mother's hand.

"Zach…" It only came out as a whisper. Speaking was hard, her throat was dry. Before she could ask for it, her son gave her water. At that moment Peter and Grace entered the room and hugged her too.

"What's going on? What happened?"

"When you were late for work, Will called me to see if I knew about you. We couldn't find you or reach you, so I went to the apartment and found you on the bathroom floor. The doctors said you had a brain bleed, but it has been controlled. They also said you would eventually wake up on your own."

Oh, a bleeding in the brain. That explained all those visions, they were hallucinations. Even if that made sense, they seemed too real to be only her mind's work. They felt more like alternate realities in which she had taken the other way she had taken in real life. Oh, like this explanation seemed more plausible than the hallucinations one.

"How long have I been out?"

"Three days. We'll let you rest now."

"I'm fine. Well, a little bit of a headache, but other than that, I feel just like I have slept a really long and resting sleep. When can I go home?"

"I'll go find out."

By the end of the day Alicia was going home. Her kids were supposed to be at Peter's, but they decided to stay and take care of their mom.

Alicia was lying in bed when she felt her cell phone vibrate. It was Kalinda.

"Hey, Kalinda, what's up?"

"You scared the hell out of us, that's what's up!" She answered, with concern in her voice. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine. I'll be back in a few days, don't worry."

"Yeah, Diane told me you would be crazy and want to come back to work so soon. Take some time off."

"Diane?"

"Yes, Peter called her to let us know you were ok. He also told her about your plans of coming back and asked her to forbid you." She chuckled, picturing Alicia rolling her eyes to that. That was exactly what the lawyer did.

"Okay, I'll see you on Monday." And then they hung up.

…..

On the next day Alicia, against her kids' and Peter's protest, went back to the hospital to get her clothes from the day of the fall, because they had forgotten to take it. In order for them to let her do it, she had to claim she was ok and would go crazy being alone in the apartment while Zach and Grace were at school. After all, the doctor hadn't forbid her to drive or go out.

"Hi, my name is Alicia Florrick and I was released yesterday, but my husband, sorry ex-husband, forgot to get the clothes I came in."

"Of course Miss?

"Cavanaugh."

"Miss Cavanaugh" _Miss Cavanaugh_, it had been 18 years since she had been called that. She wasn't used to that, but she supposed old habits died hard. The nurse went to the back and came back bringing her pile of clothes.

"Here's your stuff. This is a scarf that nice man, hmm, Will forgot here yesterday. Is there a possibility for you to give it to him?" The nurse said handing her a scarf she recognized. She had given it to Will for Christmas the previous year.

"Will was here?" Of course he was. _Was she really expecting him not to?_ Maybe she was afraid he wouldn't.

"Yes, yes. Every day. Of course he couldn't enter the room, because only family is allowed, but he sat there," she pointed to one of the waiting chairs, "and waited. Poor guy looked really worried. So, can you give this to him?"

"Uhum, sure." Alicia was astonished. She had expected phone calls, a drop bye visit. Not this.

…..

When she got home she was still thinking about Will's visit. She tried to rationalize that it was the normal thing for friends to do, but she couldn't get around the fact that Kalinda hadn't been there. Not that she resented the other woman for it. She didn't want to analyze the meaning of his constant presence, especially not when she was still under strong influence of her coma dreams/visions or whatever they had been. She just wanted to forget them. But the scarf resting on the chair in her bedroom wasn't helping. It was a constant reminder of his caring that would lead her thoughts to her visions, which would leave her wanting what was in them, again. It also was making her have to acknowledge the fact that she missed him, she really missed him. After a whole day, when she couldn't take the scarf staring at her every time she entered the bedroom anymore, she decided to put it inside her dresser beside **that** _'Chicago Magazine'_, which she still had. It didn't work, though. She **knew** it was there. _'Out of sight, out of mind' _was not necessarily true, especially in this case. Alicia had nothing to do but think. After 3 years of working such long hours and having so many things to do, she really didn't have anything to do. The lack of work wasn't really welcome. Alicia wondered how she had been able to do it for so long. _She was a different person back then_ was her answer_._

On the third day of wandering the apartment while avoiding the scarf, she wasn't even entering her room by then and Alicia was going mad. To preserve her own sanity, she rationalized calling him was the best thing to do. Alicia didn't know if she could ask that of him or if he even had the time to come over, but she dialed anyway.


	9. Chapter 9

_Thanks my wonderful beta Believer123! Please keep reviewing, I love reading them and knowing what you think._

* * *

He had agreed to come right over, so she waited staying by the door. He'd had barely time to ring the bell once and Alicia was already opening the door.

"Thanks for coming. I really need to talk."

"Siiiiiiis! You scared the hell out of us." Owen said smothering her in a hug.

"I'm sorry."

"Oh, this is my sister. You fall down on your head, spend five days at the hospital and are sorry you worried other people. You have nothing to be sorry for. Just get well."

"I'm fine!"

They were in silence for a few minutes before Alicia had the courage to ask – she still wasn't sure she wanted to go there.

"Was Will really there?"

"Oh, yeah. Every day, sitting in the waiting chair because he wasn't allowed in the room. So, I gave him constant updates and kept him some company. Peter was reaaaaally thrilled about that. Thinking you two were sleeping together." Owen said chuckling.

"Owen!"

"So, when did you two get back together?"

"What?! We didn't."

"Oh, wow."

"What?"

"I mean, he was there so much… I don't know…I just figured you were dating. Why aren't you? You are no longer married and he isn't your boss anymore."

"I got divorced a month ago. And he will be my boss again two weeks from now. But you know, I've had the strangest dream while I was at the hospital. I kept having visions about how everything would have turned out had I changed some things in my life."

"You were having 'what ifs' dreams? It's cool isn't it, to imagine that one little decision can alter your whole future? How everything turns out differently?"

"Yes, but the weirdest thing is that they didn't feel like imagination, I was watching it display in front of me."

"That is weird. You had visions of alternate realities? Cool, even better to see the various outcomes, not only imagine them." Owen has always had a soft spot for 'the-universe-is-telling-you-something' and 'other realities' kind of thing. Alicia, on the other hand, could never believe in such things.

"Another weird thing is that I didn't see various outcomes. I mean, no matter what changed in the past, the future was always similar. I always ended up growing old with Will."

"What?!"

"Yeah, in some we got married young and had our children, in some Zach and Grace were there and we never got married, but no matter what, we were always together in the end."

Owen was speechless, and for that to happen it had to be something big. Well, this **was** big. Your sister imagining different realities only to justify sleeping with her boss as 'something the universe is telling her is supposed to happen' is big. He was worried she had hit her head pretty hard. Once he regained his speech, he said:

"What do you intend to do about it?"

"Nothing. I'm just checking if you think I still have a brain bleed and should go back to the hospital."

"You can't just ignore it! The universe is telling you something!"

"The universe can't speak, Owen."

"Ok, Mrs. Skeptical, then your subconscious is telling you something. Either way, you can't let this go."

"Oh, this was a terrible idea!"

"What?"

"Telling you all this! I was hallucinating! I had just had a concussion!" Her brother was taking it too seriously. Instead of talking her out of it, like she intended him to do, he was talking her **into** it. So, she had to go back discouraging her herself.

Alicia managed to make Owen drop the subject, but she still kept the feeling that she should talk to Will. Not tell him the whole crazy story, but ask him if he wanted to give them another try. Actually, the first real try, because their affair didn't count. It had been doomed even before it began. They hadn't handled it right. **She** hadn't, because Will had tried to make it serious. She had seen so many versions have the same outcome – happiness – that maybe it **was** right, **they** were right.

"Owen, I'm going out for a while."

"Where are you going?"

She knew she would regret answering it, but did it anyway:

"Will's."

"That's my girl. It's Alicia time!" She managed only to laugh before heading out the door.

* * *

_A/N: Sorry for such a short chapter, but the next one won't take long._


	10. Chapter 10

_Thanks to my beta Believer123 and all the reviews! Please, keep writing them._

* * *

On the way over, she tried to think of something to say...a way to say it.

_I had a dream…. _Noeven if it were true, it was too Martin Luther King.

_I got divorced. _No, too practical.

_It's not too much anymore_. – Picking up where they had left… No, she wanted a fresh start.

Maybe like her vision: _I miss you_. – It was the truth, but still… no.

Halfway through the elevator ride she just gave up and decided to let the words come.

The ring of the bell tied her stomach into a knot and the door being opened released butterflies in her belly.

"Alicia." Will said in a surprise.

"Hi." She said looking down at her hands in search for words. That's when she saw the solution: the scarf. She had brought it back. "I brought your scarf. The one you left at the hospital. Is this a bad time?"

"No, no. Come on in. Can I get you anything?"

"No thanks. Here." She said handing him the scarf. "So, I heard you came by the hospital?"

"Yes." She could tell he was still confused "How are you doing?"

"Fine. Better." They didn't say a word for a while, just standing there in silence, staring at each other. Alicia was trying to gather all the courage she had and spill what she had gone there to say. "Actually, I heard you were there a lot."

"Well, we were worried." At Alicia's quizzical look he added "Diane and I, the firm."

"Oh, thanks. For the worry, I guess."

"Thank you for bringing me the scarf. You didn't have to. Especially being recently out of the hospital. You should be resting."

"Will, that's not the only reason I came." She had to pause – this was hard. Harder she'd thought it'd be. "I miss you." She decided to go with the vision's cue after all._ It had worked once, right?_ "I figured we've had our share of bad timing. I've seen so many different ways this could play out, I mean we finally getting together, and every time we ended up in the same place: growing old together. But I don't want this to be a 'we let life get in the way and took 40 years to interfere with it' thing. I want a middle. I don't want only a sweet start in college and a happy ending at 80. I want everything in between. Parent-teacher conferences with the kids. I want a beach wedding and a honeymoon in Germany, because Paris is overrated. I want to go to a baseball game. I want to watch Peter's governor acceptance speech at your place, knowing everything won't happen again. I want a big Christmas table and a baseball thrown inside my casket." By then, Alicia couldn't hold her tears anymore and they were flowing.

She was expecting him to say something, but he didn't. He took a step forward and kissed her. This was the only possible answer, after all, there were no words left to be said. They didn't say anything on their way to the bedroom, they were too busy exploring each other once again.

It was getting late and she had to be there when her children got home; they were still worried about her. She would also talk to them about Will, this time less preoccupied with the outcome; she had already seen some good ones. Alicia began to get her things to leave and Will looked at her with those sad puppy eyes that always broke her heart. She was hurting him again. Well, she couldn't blame him. She had done that so many times to him that she had lost count.

"I have to meet my children; they are still scared about it all. I also have to talk to them." The _about us_ was implicit. "Will, I meant everything I said earlier, this time it is different. This isn't me running away from you again. I'll come back later." She said with a smile.

"I'll be waiting." He met her smile with one of his own.

…

"That was one long talk. A really good one, too, by the look on your face." Owen has said at their next meeting, making her blush. "Oh, sis, don't be embarrassed, you look happy. That's what matters. I don't really need to ask, but I still want details; so, how did it go?"

"Good. Now thinking of it, I think the greatest difficulty we had to overcome was me. I mean my own acceptance of it all. Everything, except for my marriage, is still there, but it doesn't seem impossible anymore. We'll figure it all out. Not everything needs a plan."

"What have I been telling you since your affair?"

"I know, but for me it was a little bit harder to see. I thought it wasn't worth all the complications, but my hallucinations showed me what I could be missing out. My head injury also got me thinking about something Kalinda told me: life's too short. I finally allowed myself to feel and not just make plans."

Owen just smiled at his big sister. For once she was thinking about herself, the world be damned! It was really Alicia time!

"I'm proud of you." He finally said.

"When I end my marriage and decide to have a relationship with my affair, who also happens to be my boss; that's when you're proud of me? Not when I get married. Not when I have a family. You have twisted moral standards. I don't want you too near my kids, teaching them that. You're a bad influence." Alicia said with a teasing voice.

"Silly, I was proud of you then as well, but now you're finally taking your life into your own hands, not just letting it happen. You're changing things for yourself, you're living!" She punched his arm lightly.

…

When Zach and Grace got home from school, Owen was long gone and their mom was sitting on the sofa waiting for them, nervous as hell.

"Mom, is everything ok? Are you feeling bad?" Zach asked sensing her uneasiness.

"Yes, everything is fine. I just have to talk to you guys about something." Alicia said trying to calm them down. "I'm… I'm…I'm dating Will. You remember him right?"

Silence took over the room. You could hear a needle fall on the floor.

"Please, kids, say something. How do you feel about that? I will introduce you properly; I just wanted to tell you first. He is looking forward to meet you. He is a great guy and –"

"Mom, you're babbling." Zach stated. Alicia shut up. "It's fine." He continued.

After a while, Grace asked: "How long?"

"Hm… since this morning?" Alicia said a little unsure. She wasn't counting the last time. Technically it wasn't worth including. And Alicia knew Grace wanted to know if she had cheated on their father. She had always believed the rumors that surrounded her and Will.

Grace nodded solemnly. She was ok with it, well Alicia hoped she was.

…

One afternoon Grace came to the firm with Zach when he was supposed to fix Alicia's computer – again. Alicia spotted them as they came off the elevator and she saw Grace take a wrong turn towards Will's office instead of hers.

"Grace! This way." She shouted and saw the girl smile embarrassed. At that moment, Alicia understood what was going on. Grace was curious to see Will, who she only knew by name.

As they left Zach doing his magic, Alicia asked her daughter:

"Grace, do you want to meet Will?"

"What?"

"I saw you going towards his office when you got here and I wondered if you want to meet him. I've been planning to introduce you, but was willing to wait until you are ready. I don't want to force anything on you guys."

"Actually I do. I do want to know this guy I hear so much about." The girl said in a challenging tone more than a curious one. She had given her ok about their relationship, but not quite her blessing, yet. She was still mourning her parents' marriage.

"Well, unfortunately he is out in court today, but I can arrange dinner at the apartment this week."

She didn't bother to answer with words and only nodded, instead.

Will had never been this nervous in his life. Not even the day of his Grand Jury. Perhaps it matched the day he had met Alicia's father at Georgetown. He could not believe he was such a nervous wreck over two teenagers. The problem was, he knew it was important to Alicia for them to like him, that it would make things easier. He had changed his clothes a hundred times, like a girl going on a date. He thought of bringing them something, but decided against it, because it would seem like he was trying to buy them off. At their age, it would not work; only make them angry. He didn't want to show empty handed either, because his mother had taught him to always bring something to a dinner party. At the last minute he settled for dessert: some of the best chocolate cake in Chicago.

Dinner was really awkward at first. Despite Alicia's attempts at different topics, the conversation wasn't flowing, mostly because Zach was indifferent to it all and Grace was staring at Will. He had dealt with a lot of stiff judges and the most cut-throat lawyers, but this teenage girl was good.

"So, Grace, your mom told me you want to be a lawyer?" He tried one of his last efforts toward conversation and the girl only shrugged.

"That's great. She also told me you have already looked at some books."

"Uhum." She said in a monosyllable, but at least was looking at him this time.

"If you want to, you can spend a day at the firm and I can show you around, what the lawyers are doing, how everything works…"

She was halfway to another shrug, when stopped and looked at him with wide eyes: "Wow! Really?!"

"Do you want to?"

"Of course, I do! Can I come see you in court, too?" She asked excited.

Before answering, he glanced at Alicia over her daughter's head asking for her permission. When she nodded in response, he said:

"Sure. Come whenever you want."

"Great! I have to text Jennifer about it." She ran off the table over to her phone.

He was really good. Alicia knew that from that moment on he had won the girl's approval and she was right. From then on, Grace's attitude towards Will had changed from hostile to really friendly.

Things were finally looking good, and now that she was happy with Will and her kids were okay with the relationship, Alicia was ready to make those moments she saw in her visions come true.


	11. Chapter 11

_I haven't forgotten about this, I just had a little writers block together with lack of time. Last chapter coming up soon._

_Thanks to Believer123 for beta reading and all the help! Please read and review._

* * *

**Beep. Beep.** _What is this?_ Alicia thought. **Beep. Beep.** _Where the hell is this coming from?_ **Beep. Beep.** _Oh my God, the phone! _**Beep. Beep**. Alicia jumped out of the sofa startled, having been woken up by her cell phone, which she couldn't find under the cushions. **Beep. Beep. **She was finally able to locate it.

"Hello?"

"Ms. Cavanaugh, this is Robert Parks."

"Yes, Your Honor. Did something happen?" She asked trying to remember which case she had in front of him. She was sleepy and nothing came to mind.

"Will pulled his back during the game tonight and was unable to move and in a lot of pain, so they took him to the hospital." Her sleepiness vanished, leaving her wide awake and worried.

"Where did they take him?"

"To Northwestern Memorial Hospital. Will asked me to call you to let you know. He also asked me to tell you not to worry, that he's fine and will be home soon."

"What? He's kidding, right? I'm going over there, right now!" Before hanging up and rushing through the door, Alicia had the decency to let a 'thank you, your Honor' slide.

It was a Wednesday evening and Will had gone to one of his weekly basketball games – some would have thought that after the Grand Jury they would have cancelled those. Alicia was on the couch watching a crappy movie, waiting for him. That's when she must have fallen asleep.

Rushing through the hospital corridors, she finally got where she was told his room was.

"Hi, where is room 317?" She asked a nurse.

"Oh, right there, Mrs. Gardner. I just came from there and he's sleeping because of the painkillers."

"Actually, we're not…" Alicia was about to correct the woman, but stopped, realizing she would get more information and access if she was considered family.

"Thank you. And how is he doing?"

"He came in in a lot of pain. We gave him strong painkillers for now, but he just pulled a muscle badly. He is going to be fine. Once he's discharged he'll only have to take it easy for the next couple of days. And no sports for the next few weeks. When I told him that, he was reluctant to accept it." She answered with a smile.

"I'll make sure he will be fine." Alicia replied and tried to return the smile. She entered the room with worry, but some of that worry turned into relief to see Will sleeping peacefully – not in any sign of pain. It was stupid, everyone had reassured her that he was fine, that it had been nothing major, but she had been still worried until she saw him.

There was only one thing to do: she sat on the chair beside him and held his hand until sleep claimed her once again.

…..

As the morphine started wearing off, Will opened his eyes, but he was still a little groggy.

"Hey. Can I get you anything?" Seeing him awake made Alicia smile brightly.

"Water?" He whispered weakly.

"How are you feeling?"

"No pain. Just high from the painkillers." He smiled goofily.

Will began to drift on and off to sleep, still under the effect of the painkillers. Alicia was really tired, but unable to sleep, so she only sat by his bed to make sure nothing happened. She almost fell from the chair, scared, when suddenly, Will burst:

"Let's go to Germany when I get out of here!"

"Will! We can't do that. We have to work; the firm is a chaos as it is with the bankruptcy threat. We can't leave, we have to work."

"I want to get away from it, forget everything. You said you wanted to go to Germany, right? Because Paris is overrated?" He said referring to her confession in his apartment.

"I said I wanted a honeymoon in Germany." She said laughing, placing a hand on his cheek, trying to divert Will from that idea.

"We could make it our honeymoon." He said like he was having a great idea.

"Sure, we can go right after we elope in Vegas." Alicia mocked him, not even pretending to take him seriously. _Crap, her failed attempt to distract him had given him even more crazy thoughts._

"I'm serious! Life is too short." He paused, like he was thinking this through. "There's no reason we shouldn't do it. I love you." Although she knew that, it was the first time he had actually said it since they had gotten together again. He was probably scared of her reaction to commitment, especially one as big as this, because after what happened last time, during the affair. This time she wasn't scared, though, she just wished he wasn't drugged as he was when he asked, "Alicia, will you marry me?"

"Will, you are full of morphine. You won't even remember this after you wake up." He was already getting sleepy again.

"Maybe, but that doesn't mean that I don't mean it." Those were his last words before he drifted off to sleep. _OK, now __**that**__ was scary. Why couldn't they take things slowly?_ Maybe because they had been doing just that for the past 20 years. Will's proposal startled her because it was so sudden. It was not unwelcome. When she did think on it afterward, she realized she did want to be with him; he really did make her feel happy and loved. So she decided to sleep on it and maybe when Will felt better and things had settled down, he would ask again and she would say yes. For now, they both needed rest.


	12. Chapter 12

Will was forced to stay another two days at the hospital so they could run tests on him. He was also still receiving morphine, which he was not allowed to do at home. Even if it was a brief stay, Zach and Grace came by. They were getting along really well, they liked him; it was fair to say. Will was still gladly surprised to see that they had made the effort to go. Alicia was there every moment she could between work and the kids. It pained Will to see her sleep out of exhaustion on the uncomfortable bedside chair. He insisted she should go home and sleep properly, but she refused to move a muscle.

After he got cleared out, on the drive home, Alicia agreed:

"Fine, we can go to Germany. I've talked to Diane and she said that after the year we've had with my life-threatening experience – her words – your suspension, the press hovering over us, she'll find a way to let us have some vacation time. She said she will handle the overwork." It was the first time she was bringing up that conversation, worried it would lead him to propose again or, worse, that it wouldn't now that he was sober.

"Does that mean that you will marry me?"

"Will, we don't have to rush things. I know that you said life is short, but…"

"It's not about that. I'm not rushing things. Alicia, you're **it** for me. I've felt it for 20 years and maybe known it for 3. I understand if you're not there, yet, though."

"I'm not, but not with my feelings for you." She paused a little "I love you." Not taking her eyes off the road, she could still see from the corner of her eye that he tensed up beside her and then smiled. It was the first time she had said it to him. "But I'm not ready to get married again, at least, not **now**." She made clear for him that it wasn't out of the table. "I'm not going anywhere. I've seen it; we have a long time to figure it out." She took his hand and held it tight.

That seemed to have satisfied Will, because he didn't bring the subject up again. Until one day, a few months later as they were lying in bed, almost drifting off to sleep and she simply whispered _'I'm ready'_. He understood what she meant, because the next day, during candle-lit dinner, he got down on one knee and asked her to marry him, this time properly and not under the influence of morphine. With tears in her eyes, she accepted.

She got her beach wedding after all, and for their honeymoon they ended up going to Italy because they had already been to Germany and she still thought Paris was overrated.

Alicia remembered once telling Will that whatever there was between them was romantic because it hadn't happened, that if it had, that it would have just been life - she decided that she preferred life over romance any time. Her life with Will wasn't as easy as it appeared in the visions – that was expected – but her real life still had the same outcome: a happy old couple sitting on a bench, talking about their _good timing_.

* * *

_I'm sad to end this story. If you had half the fun reading as I had writing it, I'm happy. _

_Thanks Believer123 for beta-reading, this story would be nothing without you! _

_Thanks for reading and reviewing!_


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